Arab Men and Women #5: Mating

August 27, 2009

In the most animal sense of the word, mating is exactly what I meant, you read it right.

And be forewarned, this post should be read in open-mindedness or else it can be very offensive and ridiculously misunderstood.

tortoise_mating_sdnr-0310

I can safely generalize and say that mating is the center point of life in the Arab world. It’s the essence and the end-goal itself.

It starts from childhood.

The boy hears his father bragging about how many male kids he managed to produce, and the mother starts preparing her daughter to join the cycle of production in a very young age.

Young daughters, at a very early age, when the mind is fresh and is capable of  recording whatever the ear hears, start hearing stories in women sessions about marriage. Who got married to who, and who is searching for a bride to her son, and who is prettier enough to manage to marry that doctor…and who can cook better food to please the aspiring husbands….and so forth.

It all comes down to production. Getting married to have kids, and join the natural food chain.

Daughters grow up, only to watch series about women getting married and produce kids. Sloppy video clips about a girl who’s devastated because she couldn’t manage to convince her boy friend to join the food chain with her.

Boys also, hear and see stories about ideal good men who managed to get college degrees and got married to produce other kids…and join the food chain. To please their aging parents, because this is the only thing that parents seem to get, who dare to displease parents at this age ?

It’s all about mating.

Guys are highly encouraged to join GYMs. It’s the trend now, It’s a trend now: to tone up at the gym, and not to get healthier or anything, no; of course NOT!  It’s for the sole purpose of seducing cylinder mammals from the other gender. Because, as some of you know, when a girl have average or slightly above average facial features….she tend to be picky when in certain age range. when a girl has average or slightly above average facial features, she tends to be picky during a certain age range. She will prefer a male who is, well, less of a loser than the rest of males

Mating is everywhere: songs,movies, series, women sessions, men sagas in cafes and gahawi sheeshaa etc…

Personal Note:

I wrote this post while practicing extreme anger management techniques. It’s so sad that previous generation was so deranged in a silly way. They’re irresponsible, and unfortunately, managed to produce a more irresponsible generation.

We live in one of the most disturbed areas of the world, yet the land we live on is the richest land on earth. We have occupations and wars that tore us apart for the last two centuries. Genocides take place on a monthly basis. Our lands are burned and our people are being massacred so that oil companies and weapons manufacturers can grow richer and stronger ,and yet marriage is all that mothers care about ? Then mothers, go to hell.

Unless and until we wake up and take responsibilities, then may God have mercy on us. Unless we wake up and take our responsibilities to the heart, then we will never join the rest of the world. We will stay behind. People have reached the moon, and we’re still bragging about our mating adventures.

This post is dedicated to the few good men and women  who take the responsibility of advancing this nation on their shoulders.

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Arab Men and Women: #4 “STUFF IT”

August 26, 2009

FOOD

Whhhhhhhhhy on earth do we onlyyyyyy focus and obsess over food as much as we do during Ramadan!?? Forget about my family since we are picky about what we eat, wa7ed hated green beans while the other simply cannot stand broccoli 😡 ! Meat is essential on the table during the holy month bas people seem to be fixated on Arabic “ramadanic” sweets after prayers…

A3lant jehady bemoqa6a3at el 7alaweyyat el 3arabeya khelal el shahr el fadeel wa cheers ya ommet el akel !


Arab Women #12: Tamer Hosni

August 25, 2009

Nothing surprising here, it seems that bad taste is chronic among our beloved Arab ladies…

Somehow, it seems that almost ALL Arab women are in love with this hairy creature, named Tamer Hosni. Out of all the good singers, they chose Tamer.

tamer

Nothing against the guy really, personally I think he has some average songs and some few good songs, but that’s about it. He’s a horrible actor, he is sooo NOT funny at all…and he is ugly. Yes, ugly…not average looking, the guy looks ugly – period.

If you don’t wanna be misguided, then don’t ask Arab women what they think of him. Easy.


Arab Women #11: Funny Hijab styles

August 23, 2009

Nothing beats the “normal” hijab…and by normal I mean something far, way far, from what we see in streets. When you can’t tell the difference between an army hat and a Hijab…this is where you know something’s wrong with women beauty standards…

you see a lot of women looking like soldiers…and not sexy ones…..

girls, take it from me…Men do prefer simplicity…beauty is simple…no need to wrap your head with a pair of socks to make a new style..your regular hijab looks much better.


Arab men: #16- Shake ya belly like a belly dancer !

August 23, 2009

pregnant!

Although most young Arabs – both genders actually – but men mostly, are really paying attention to their figures, eating habits, fashion trends and gossip; I still look around to see men with big tummies especially after marriage and akeed they blame women! “ahhh she feeds me!” “Ahhhh she’s a good cook” “aaaahhh I will not eat what you put on the table cuz I’m putting on weight!!” <– a7san! Tawfeer masroof sara7a bas alssoooo, REFRAIN FROM EATING WHEN YOU SHOULD man! Don’t stuff it then whine like women ! How acceptable is a man with a pregnant woman’s belly?! to us females at least? Would you take a man with one or would you push him to exercise?

ok, let’s assume the woman’s chubby or has a bit of a belly, would you take her as she is?! Or would you still whine and complain about losing it?! Which is most likely and the might be excuse “So we’d look good bel wedding pics!” OR “so when you get pregnant and you put on weight” ! Okkk thank you for thinking of my future ahead and of our kids! Why is it ok for men to have it and sometimes be proud of it “El kersh heiba” who the heck said that!

Ok, what if the kids turn out to be chubby AND from mom or dad, have a belly?! Haaaaa ???

I think we should all join gyms! Efffff