Plea from “Stuff Arabs Like” writers

First, I just to say that we, the man and woman behind Stuff Arabs like, are alive. Well, almost 😉

I want to apologize that it took me long time to read the recent comments and approve them. But I have my reasons, bear with me.

First, let’s all say congratulations for the female writer “Poky Face” who got married and is now a mother! Congratulations! Mabrook!

Sadly though, she’s not writing here anymore. Which means, I need a female blogger to write here with me! If anyone’s interested, please leave a comment, I will contact you!

Secondly, myself, the male writer  (h3rm1ny3w), I had some life changing events too. Contrary to what happened with Poky Face, I actually went in and out of a relationship, among some other life changing situations. But hopefully, I’ll be back on track soon enough 😎 And boy do I have some good stuff coming 😉

Now, to answer few of the comments. For those who left positive comments thanking us, I’m glad that you enjoyed the blog. The purpose of this blog is for fun, and only that. I hope we left a smile on someone’s face. That’s what it’s all about.

For those hateful comments, calling us racists or self-bashing: Well, you obviously don’t get the point of the blog. Try to understand the purpose of the blog, and maybe try to let go of some unnecessary sensitivity. Somebody made a joke about your culture? Big deal! get over it. Don’t be offended by stupid things, you’re better than that. If you don’t like this blog, nobody is forcing you to read it. We know we’re writing with the best of intentions.

So people, let me know what you think! write a comment on this post, and let’s hear you out 😎

Arab Men and Women #10: Nescafe

So we mentioned Turkish Coffe and Starsucks, here we talk about THEE number one beverage consumed in the Middle East: Nescafe !!!

I can safely say that this is indeed a social phenomena ! And I think Nescafe is making hell lot of money from this region alone.

While Turkish coffee was the defacto standard that you expect when someone offer you “coffee”, now Nescafe is the coffee. In any restaurant or meeting, if you ask for coffee, expect to see some form of Nescafe instant coffee.

It’s fascinating, and I tell you I’m one of those addicted to the disgusting taste of nescafe ! not bad at all, and very convenient for a lazy guy like me who don’t want to bother with other types of coffee.

What’s more amusing is that there are plenty of commerically available instant coffee brands in the Middle East, yet the average Arab consumer is so faithful to Nescafe that they even call other brands of instant coffee as “nescafe”.

Well, there’s always a room for one more cup of nescafe now isn’t there ? 😉

Arab Men and Women #9: FC Barcelona

You’d be surprised how many Arab males and females out there who have FC Barcelona logos on their cars, facebook pages, clothes, and basically everywhere! I have seen toilet papers with FC Barcelona logos on !

A rough analysis of FC Barcelona fans in the Middle East will tell you this:

• 80% of FC Barcelona fans started watching football about 2 to 4 yrs ago, and have actually no business in football or sports in general.
• 10% root for FC Barcelona because it’s a strong team now. Those same 10% used to root for Real Medrid few yrs ago when it was winning. Sore losers.
• 5% have no idea what FC Barcelona is, they don’t know the difference between a goal and a penalty, and they have no idea why they root for FC Barcelona. They just have the logo on their facebook page, and they update the status of their facebook pages with things like “we won”, “Barca 4ever”, whenever they hear there’s a match.
• 5% are actual fans.

Arab Men and Women #8: Brand Names

If you’re visiting the Middle East for the first time; you’re up for a surprise here 😎

Forget what you see on TV about wars and religion; it’s just the stupid propaganda.

If you happen to visit one of the famous Arab cities like Dubai (or Posh Dubai if you will), Beirut, Amman, or Cairo; you will notice a rediculous interest in brand names and fashion in general. Since this is the Middle East, so you should already expect the unexpected.

Just because something is trending in New York, Stockholm, and Paris, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s trending in Beirut and Amman for example !  Typically, you will find a certain type of jeans trending, and at least 95% of the girls (and guys – disturbing I know) wearing the same type of jeans. It’s the cool thing, and everybody will have to wear and if you don’t wear the same jeans then you are a loser – uncool – geek.

A typical stylish guy should have at least 18 different jeans, and a girl would have double or triple that – depends on her budget.  Believe me, it’s nothing you will see anywhere, because usually a  girl doesn’t have to provide for herself or for her family in the Middle East, so basically her budget is her entire salary.

Guys however, depends on their money, and that can be a bitch. So just like the rest of the world, cool and rich go hand in hand here. Diesel, Pull & bear, and so many brands, some of which are actually not stylish anywhere save for the Middle East. And since the whole concept and sense of beauty is damaged (read my earlier posts to understand), so the degree of beauty and coolness is primarily related to clothing in the Middle East.

Speaking of Brand Names, you should also notice that the average (15 to 60) yrs old Arab citizen usually have the latest cell phone out there. Be it the new iphone(s), blackberry, Nokia, or whatever brand that’s trending – in the Middle East. It doesn’t matter if they don’t use 98% of the features in those “smart” phones, it’s all about the looks, and being cool to attract the opposite sex (now don’t argue and say that it’s for some other holier puporse, there isn’t any other logical reason that I can think of).

On a personal ranking, I think Beirut & Dubai are the winners for the most over-dressed girls, and I gotta tell you, an eye candy isn’t always a bad idea 😉 ; just don’t get dragged to the world of “fashion in the Middle East” because you need a lot of time, money, and plenty of airhead to catch up with the madness.

Arab Men #19: Lebanese Women

Arab Men prefer Lebanese Women, at least according to this article on MSN !  😉

Arab Women #20: Playing Victims

 

Your average Arab woman is always the victim !

There’s always an evil guy who had broken her heart ! While this hypothetical guy might be fiction, you’re forced to acknowledge the undebatable fact that she is a victim. How dare you not to sympathize with her heart breaking fiction story ??? Even if you see 100 people dying every day on TV in your home country…you’re still forced to show sympathy to her mystical perpetual sadness !

So if your Arab woman was in a relationship before, it’s always the man’s the fault. She assumes that it’s her right to pick up the phone, call the guy, and yell at him. It’s her given right ! Why, of course, “all girls do that” , is her ready counter argument. Even if she realizes that she wasn’t the right girl for that guy, it’s still assumed that the guy was a player who broke her heart. Bo-friggin-hoo ????

No matter how hard the guy tries, he’s always wrong. He’s always missing one crucial “right” of hers. She forgets that a typical Arab man is expected to be the Jesus of the relationship: financially, emotionally, physically, and mentally. 

It’s a very entertaining idea to her to throw herself in the arms of “feminism”, even if those ideas aren’t remotely related to our society, still, it’s a very nice chance to play victim !

Disturbing pictures on facebook of girls crying & ridiculously sad songs over heart breaking is a must ! Even if she has the most loving husband and the most comfortable & cozy life…she has to be the victim and complain endlessly about how unfair Arab men are !

And you wonder why good guys feel very frustrated ? Because they’re blamed anyway. It’s not appreciation that we seek, it’s just the constant complaining is what we’re trying to avoid !

Somebody needs a grip on reality…a comparison between relationships in the Arab world and other societies can spare us a lot of drama.

Arab Women #19: Mama !!

Almost every Arab man has to go through the painful experience of listening to his Arab woman talking about her love to her MAMA !

It’s just another attempt of your typical Arab woman to maniefest cuteness ! It is very “cute” of your Arab girl to express her love to her mother’s food – even if it’s the crappiest most unhealthy food ever  – it’s just very “cute” to talk about it.

Of course, there has to be a facebook picture of your Arab woman with her mama, this is a must ! 

Cuteness much ?

PS:  There’s absolutely nothing wrong with loving parents, but sometimes it’s just too much, specially when it’s cheesy and unreal. It can be a hypocrite attempt to look “cute”.

Arab Women #18: Stupidity

Look at the miserable faces of the women in the picture above.. Do you know what women stood against and fought for throughout years?! They wanted “equality”, same rights, same financial terms.. they wanted to stand up to violence while some just wanted to wipe out men as a race!

You got your rights!? You can vote, drive cars and breast feed kids during working hours?! What good did it do you when:

1. Dress up like whores and those that particularly piss me off are these women who take off their hejab and “start over again” like she’s been en caged by hejab ya haram.. you make me sick

2. Those who steal other girls’ men just for a ma9la7a then get a divorce to hop another man and get yet another divorce – bringing more kids to this world from a sick mother (I know believe me).. you make me sick

3. Girls who remarry every chance they get, ya okhty you failed so many times before khalas quit!! Leave men for them poor single ladies out there waiting patiently with dignity, mosh le anno you “can” get married bedoun “mashakel” and get a divorce (if you know what I mean) khalas it becomes a habit! .. you make me sick

4. Girls who suddenly cleaned up after being exposed to a foreign culture and yaay now “she speaks English with a slang” and then they think they are over n’above everyone else.. you make me sick

5. Girls who give us the bad reputation of being materialistic – they are so shallow with their wants n’ needs so I don’t blame guys for being paranoid.. you make me sick

6. El habal o el 3aba6 taba3 el banat- I find it sick when girls go out in groups to have fun and it’s not just any kind of fun! I get sick seeing pics of girls drinking alcohol and partying like sluts and the disaster is “they take too much pride in being open minded and free” … you make me sick

What else?! Did we women achieve after claiming our civil rights ? 🙂

Arab Men and Women #7: Turkish Coffee

One of the very old habits, Turkish Coffee !

Whenever you visit any respectful Arab family, friend, or even in a casual meeting, you will be attacked with a cup of Turkish coffee.

It’s a very important ritual in the Arab society, and don’t you dare to refuse it ! It’s a very sacred ritual. If you are a man and you don’t like it, then it degrades the level of your manhood in the society; because it’s really manish to drink and actually love Turkish coffee !

If you are an Arab woman, then you love it anyway, because it is one of the very basic building blocks of any time-wasting chatting session.

So try to love your Turkish Coffee ! you will be drinking it anyway.

Arab Women #17: Witchcraft

It’s all about black art and Genies for Arab Women !

The world is revolving around them, and the evil spirits of the universe have nothing to do but jinx them ! Everybody seems to be busy jinxing their ” one of a kind” children, or doing spells to steal their drop gorgeous husbands.

Everybody is jealous because of this girl’s LONG hair, and everybody want a big butt like that girl, so the only way to achieve that is by practicing witchcraft.

They have a very distorted mindset, they mix religion with marriage and sex and mythology and cooking. It’s really disturbing, and I gave up on rationalizing how they exactly think.

Religious Studies teachers at schools, who are supposed to raise our kids, basicaly know absolutely nothing about religion (or anything in life for that matter). I’m not generalizing, I’m talking from experience, specially those who teach kids from 1st to 4th grade, they’re a receipt for disaster. They do nothing but talk about Genies, telling stories to kids that have nothing to do with religion or anything logical !! Terrifying kids, and directing their minds and hearts towards things that won’t benefit them in any possible way whatsoever.

Their lame excuse is that Genies are mentioned in Qur’an. This is true, it is mentioned in Qur’an, but it’s not mentioned in Qur’an that our whole life revolves around that. Genies exist, and that’s it ! Earlier Muslims didn’t bother about these things, but our Arab women of course know better and they will save humanity by watching TV shows about witchcraft. Our nation needs women who have nothing to do all day save for watching useless TV shows that offer nothing but harm to the brain !

Thankfully, the new generation girls don’t seem to have the same interest in these things. I have a dream that one day, old Arab women will spare us the headache that comes from this bullshit.

And I can bet anybody here, that if I grow a beard and go on a TV show talking bullshit about magic; granted the show will get more hits than any normal informative religious program.