Arab Men and Women #9: FC Barcelona

December 17, 2010

You’d be surprised how many Arab males and females out there who have FC Barcelona logos on their cars, facebook pages, clothes, and basically everywhere! I have seen toilet papers with FC Barcelona logos on !

A rough analysis of FC Barcelona fans in the Middle East will tell you this:

  • 80% of FC Barcelona fans started watching football about 2 to 4 yrs ago, and have actually no business in football or sports in general.
  • 10% root for FC Barcelona because it’s a strong team now. Those same 10% used to root for Real Medrid few yrs ago when it was winning. Sore losers.
  • 5% have no idea what FC Barcelona is, they don’t know the difference between a goal and a penalty, and they have no idea why they root for FC Barcelona. They just have the logo on their facebook page, and they update the status of their facebook pages with things like “we won”, “Barca 4ever”, whenever they hear there’s a match.
  • 5% are actual fans.

Arab Men and Women #8: Brand Names

December 17, 2010

If you’re visiting the Middle East for the first time; you’re up for a surprise here 😎

Forget what you see on TV about wars and religion; it’s just the stupid propaganda.

If you happen to visit one of the famous Arab cities like Dubai (or Posh Dubai if you will), Beirut, Amman, or Cairo; you will notice a rediculous interest in brand names and fashion in general. Since this is the Middle East, so you should already expect the unexpected.

Just because something is trending in New York, Stockholm, and Paris, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s trending in Beirut and Amman for example !  Typically, you will find a certain type of jeans trending, and at least 95% of the girls (and guys – disturbing I know) wearing the same type of jeans. It’s the cool thing, and everybody will have to wear and if you don’t wear the same jeans then you are a loser – uncool – geek.

A typical stylish guy should have at least 18 different jeans, and a girl would have double or triple that – depends on her budget.  Believe me, it’s nothing you will see anywhere, because usually a  girl doesn’t have to provide for herself or for her family in the Middle East, so basically her budget is her entire salary.

Guys however, depends on their money, and that can be a bitch. So just like the rest of the world, cool and rich go hand in hand here. Diesel, Pull & bear, and so many brands, some of which are actually not stylish anywhere save for the Middle East. And since the whole concept and sense of beauty is damaged (read my earlier posts to understand), so the degree of beauty and coolness is primarily related to clothing in the Middle East.

Speaking of Brand Names, you should also notice that the average (15 to 60) yrs old Arab citizen usually have the latest cell phone out there. Be it the new iphone(s), blackberry, Nokia, or whatever brand that’s trending – in the Middle East. It doesn’t matter if they don’t use 98% of the features in those “smart” phones, it’s all about the looks, and being cool to attract the opposite sex (now don’t argue and say that it’s for some other holier puporse, there isn’t any other logical reason that I can think of).

On a personal ranking, I think Beirut & Dubai are the winners for the most over-dressed girls, and I gotta tell you, an eye candy isn’t always a bad idea 😉 ; just don’t get dragged to the world of “fashion in the Middle East” because you need a lot of time, money, and plenty of airhead to catch up with the madness.


Arab Women #18: Stupidity

January 25, 2010

Look at the miserable faces of the women in the picture above.. Do you know what women stood against and fought for throughout years?! They wanted “equality”, same rights, same financial terms.. they wanted to stand up to violence while some just wanted to wipe out men as a race!

You got your rights!? You can vote, drive cars and breast feed kids during working hours?! What good did it do you when:

1. Dress up like whores and those that particularly piss me off are these women who take off their hejab and “start over again” like she’s been en caged by hejab ya haram.. you make me sick

2. Those who steal other girls’ men just for a ma9la7a then get a divorce to hop another man and get yet another divorce – bringing more kids to this world from a sick mother (I know believe me).. you make me sick

3. Girls who remarry every chance they get, ya okhty you failed so many times before khalas quit!! Leave men for them poor single ladies out there waiting patiently with dignity, mosh le anno you “can” get married bedoun “mashakel” and get a divorce (if you know what I mean) khalas it becomes a habit! .. you make me sick

4. Girls who suddenly cleaned up after being exposed to a foreign culture and yaay now “she speaks English with a slang” and then they think they are over n’above everyone else.. you make me sick

5. Girls who give us the bad reputation of being materialistic – they are so shallow with their wants n’ needs so I don’t blame guys for being paranoid.. you make me sick

6. El habal o el 3aba6 taba3 el banat- I find it sick when girls go out in groups to have fun and it’s not just any kind of fun! I get sick seeing pics of girls drinking alcohol and partying like sluts and the disaster is “they take too much pride in being open minded and free” … you make me sick

What else?! Did we women achieve after claiming our civil rights ? 🙂


Arab Women #16: DRAMA !!

September 8, 2009

As we all know, all women world-wide love Drama. It’s in their blood. It’s their thing !

little_mermaid_ver2

But nevertheless, our Arab women have taken this concept to a whole new level.

It all start with little girls watching cartoons. I tell you, even as a kid I was able to distinguish and notice that the stuff girls watch is really DISTURBING !

lady1

It is really astonishing how very little girls get interested in cartoons about heart breaking and relationships. I remember watching everything as kid..but never this stuff !

Moving on, our Arab chicks dig drama. They look for it. They embrace it.kasandra

No matter what language the drama speaks, no matter how boring and cheesy it is, Arab women will follow it religiously. They cry at the beginning of the drama, cry in the middle of the drama, and cry at the end of the drama (be it a happy ending or sad ending, doesn’t matter).

All Arab young ladies have watched the Mexican series starting from Kasandra and ending with god knows what’s his name Alejandro-something.

Of course they watched the Turkish series also, who can miss such tragedies, specially when a girl-looking guy is acting ?

And you wonder why it is near to impossible to have a conversation about something useful with your average Arab girl ! If all her time is spent shedding tears on songs and series, then that’s all she know. And you wonder what kind of generation future mothers will raise ? The Nour/Muhannad generation probably, because that’s exactly what we need.

And don’t try to convince me otherwise, because if that’s all she know, then that’s exactly what she’s going to “produce” (the mating analogy again, sorry but it fits everywhere!).

God be with men who are forced to watch these things…and listen to cheesy music !


Arab Women #15: Wa7ed sheesha o salla7ooooooo

September 8, 2009

shisha

I tampered with the picture and blurred the girl’s face so no one gets upset as I noticed from comments on a previous post :p ma3a enno the girl ain’t even an Arab bas sho na3mol ya3ny..

I was out for Iftar today with “3abbas” – read the post on gorillas – the restaurant was packed and you could see how people were waiting for the athan anxiously while checking the buffet and watching the waiters go back n’ forth with salad dishes, soup and the laban to set on tables. All is normal of course…

Then we heard the athan so what we normally do is nsammy, drink some laban or water and eat the tamra right?! I have never seen someone picking up sheesha to break fast!! lol ya3ny mesh 2adra testanna !!! While everyone around that particular was busy munching on appetizers, the coal guy was fixing ras el sheesha la hal neswan – sorry benteen o 2 older women. Yes I am nosy person and I was watching their moves because I am a woman after all and I have to observe all.

We had great food, tea with mint and the man had dessert o hadool lessa beyshaysho! el ra7ma!! I decided to move my eyes to check the surrounding wella the majority of the women – ladies were smoking sheesha in comparison to a couple of men modestly smoking the hookah fa 2a3adt afakker ya3ny now el neswan are more into sheesha than before, allah yer7am ayyam zaman lamman kanet el mara eza masket sheesha akaloha b3yenon o 7ako 3anna al shooo 3aib o ma 3aib o mesh feminine! wlak yes3ad neswan hal ayyam kel wa7da wala agda3ha m3allema :p

The man goes like: “heida tafnee9” they are just messing around and that’s not real smoking, they show off by holding the pipe and puffing some smoke from their mouths not even inhaling it but why pretend like it’s a must after – in some cases before – a meal especially when you’ve been fasting the majority of the day?! I am one of those ladies who order a 3enab sheesha ya3ny akhaf shee and after a couple of smokes I get drowsy and start coughing! so I sheesha only when I am within a group and I really feel like it o armi nafsi fel tahloka and don’t say it’s haram – don’t get religion involved man.

Why are women more into sheesha than before? why do they have “girlie” flavors like shammam o cappuccino or even ward walla farawla? Why do they have special hoses with glittery stuff and sequins or flashy colors and you see women asking for these accessories ya3ny style heyye o yaaha !? I mean, they are marketing it based on gender now right?!


Arab Women #14: Star Trek eye-brows!

September 7, 2009

Bar-spook-ack

Beh beh beh, that looks so real n’ genuine! Maskeen Obama bas it’s not him I am targeting, 7awajbeeno = the eye brows demonstrated in that picture above! Yes, I am speaking about my sisters out there although it’s HER13MANNNY’s job to do that, stab us in the back ;p and yes I know your nickname bas that’s how I read it. erfa3 3alay ta3weed adabi ezaaa 7a99altny !

Ma3aleina, women in the Arab world are soooo infatuated with the celebrities o artists specially abo ne9 kom female singers and the TV presenters and they imitate everything they do and akeed mostly noticed are makeup trends and fashion… 7aleema Boland any body?! @@

Eye-brows, eye-brows *sigh* … I go to the salon and I watch women shave half of them off and use henna tattoo to draw them and shape them up. 3ady and it’s their decision but what I don’t get are the demonic – “Japanese” eye-brow style!! it’s a raised line almost reaching your hair line on your forehead and the thing is, the higher it is the sexier obviously or something! shoft ekteer bas heik la2.. I am trying to anticipate the upcoming style trend for eye-brows bel 3alam el 3arabi bas I know that Egyptians started it right!? No offense people :p

I want to fess up though…

My younger sister walked into my room two days ago and cuz I didn’t have my glasses on, only thing I could see are two dark lines on her face specifically over her eyes and I was like: “yekhreb beitek 7ala2teehon!?” = did you shave’em?!

She was like no only henna tattoo and we didn’t spare her. I happen to drop by the salon as well and the lady who did my sister’s eyebrows was like: “they nice?” – “Yeah but it shows fake ya3ny, so why do it”

EB Lady: “Thin eyebrows need little tattoo better than eye liner and more natural”
Me: ” Uha, so what you want me to do mine!?”
EB Lady: “Try try, it will look very nice for you”

Five minutes of serious thinking of the consequences … AND I HAD THEM TATTOOED bas still, they look pretty natural to me:

secret is to find someone really good at this and pick the right shade of henna, also shaping them in a decent “natural” way helps ya3ny don’t make them longer that needed wala thicker.

No one said we’re anti fashion wella el moda bas everything in moderation is nice..

Next eyebrow style, one of the below :p

حواجب

Although the picture is not clear 😦


Arab Men and Women: #6 STARBUCKS!

September 6, 2009

starbucks

Benmoooot feeh! benmoooot if we don’t at least have one cup of coffee barra el beit o bel akhas Star*ucks!

leeeish hal fixation ya tara?! tab mafee 3anna 2ahwet Abou Ali ولا شو إسما نسيت و الله !