First is first, I thank both Qwaider and Chikapappi for their support as for those more pessimistic – skeptic ones on our blogging future; Keep tuned in and we shall see if we run out of ideas 
after all, you inspire us!
No accessories, no live sex toys no more materialistic crap; We’re digging deep boys and this is my attempt to “poke” your manhood:
Most Middle Eastern men either living there or even abroad and no matter how many years they are physically detached from their mother country share the same crappy set of ideology. Excuse me men but you come back after graduating university and tell me “I am open minded” I’d send you off with a couple of curses!
First of all, what does being “open minded” have to do with where you’re coming from?! So guys who never leave their countries carry bricks on their shoulders!? Don’t know or understand the concept of “fun” like you do? Or not as successful with women like you are?! Excuse me but that is not what being open minded is at all, wala even close to it; I actually have a term for this kind of guy but it’s still early to unleash my wild vocabulary :p
Stupidity beyond imagination and false pretense, it’s almost like that are shedding their skins and shaking off their Arabic roots “Yo, ana 3andi passport Canadian – English – American” ! ok kheir ya3ny! Most of the people I know carry double passports and they act normal upon it, it doesn’t make you a hotshot and no hell no, that doesn’t put you above the rest. What you’ve seen in the States or barra isn’t sufficient enough for you to cope in this life and they say “من فات قديمه تاه” and I ain’t translating, someone do it for those non Arab readers.
Why are Arabs funny and here I am generalizing – we sound too be too enthusiastic about our identities yet all our actions reflect the total opposite and some time it feels like we are ashamed of who we are.. what we’ve become.. How the new generations are missing this crucial link between our glorious past and the dark hazy future.. what a shame..
It’s a shame when an Arabic man claiming equality and supporting women rights is probably the same man who’d go home to abuse his wife or simply his partner, girls.. in secrecy while preaching good manners..
It’s a shame when an Arabic man is to be expected to be mdarda7 with females and goes around intentionally hurting women and when it comes time for marriage, that same guy would go pick a gal who’s the total opposite of those he used to date! :$ then he drives his wife insane then she cheats then they divorce… see the cycle?!
Isn’t it funny that Arab Muslim men have no compassion for their sisters and the ladies surrounded by him which in fact makes the later run towards any comforting option AND THEN the same man would have no mercy or continue the bad treatment regardless the feelings of these poor women..
Isn’t it funny when an Arabic man plays a charade in public or even amongst close friends if he has marital / domestic problems and when he’s alone with the Mrs., he takes off his nice mask..
Isn’t it a shame when up till this day, some girls are not allowed to work or go out without a chaperon or denied basic simple rights just because a man thinks it’s haram while he sits there in front of the TV jerking off to Haifa Wahbi or some bitch!
It’s pathetic and I am not humorous this time but I will be “open minded” just because I am a female and respond to your 2 cents on this
I’m supposed to be your counter part here, but no not in this.
I profoundly agree with you and support women on this. Yes we do have a problem, with contribution from both women and men (remember, it’s a woman who raised that man who’s abusing his wife right now). We still suffer from the old controlling mentality but to be fair here, I’ve seen a rather increasing number of women who act in the same way towards their men too. So it’s a philosophy of either kill or get killed, abuse or get abused! so sad actually.
Nothing we do actually except being part of the solution not the problem.
Ok enough supporting women
well, I have to say that I do agree with a lot of what you said, but I think that generalizing this idea to all arab men is very inaccurate. I think that there are some communities in Arab world where this kind of violence is widely accepted, but in others, this is considered a brutal crime. and this shapes the way that men in each society deal with their wives (or partners)
useless, USELESS!!!!!
i am a man, and proud of my flaws, so shut up
and…. DANCE!!!
So how did I miss your blog before?
Thank you for this:
“Isn’t it funny when an Arabic man plays a charade in public or even amongst close friends if he has marital / domestic problems and when he’s alone with the Mrs., he takes off his nice mask..
“It’s a shame when an Arabic man claiming equality and supporting women rights is probably the same man who’d go home to abuse his wife or simply his partner, girls.. in secrecy while preaching good manners..
Since I get in trouble for pointing these things out as an outsider, I always appreciate a man calling the men on it.
Generalizations, at times, have roots in truth. When the nasty weed is cut down, one must get the roots or it will grow back. May your generation root out the core issues and help lift Arab men to the place of honor, valor and courage God created them to have.
ama woman lol :p bas it is important to shed a light on such issues since alot of those that I personally know suffer from it
Annnnd I give some guys my “thumbs up” for being open minded enough to read and not put down ya know!
Welcome here Kinzi
LOL pokyface, I read your ‘about’ page AFTER commenting, oops!
Yes indeed, there are some GREAT Arab men out there worthy cheering over.
Thanks for the welcome, I should welcome you both to the the local blogosphere, since I am the resident old lady/khalto.
Welcome here Kinzi, If you have any post suggestion, please leave us a comment and we can write about it
i agree with you… i once had became a victim to an arab man… and i know how suffering it is to be married to one… but i dont blame their mothers… as their mothers received the same treatment, and she most probably disdnt have the chance to teach their sons the right way because the fathers consistently teaching their sons on how to be a ‘man’… they must have grown up looking at how their fathers beat their moms and their sisters… and if they dont become like their fathers, then they are crippled or weak
I do not actually recall how I stumbled upon this blog, but I can sure say that while I found it racist at first (I do recognize it is Arabs who are writing), I found that it had a certain amount of truth hiding beneath all the sarcasm. As intended, this article in particular aroused some anger and “poked” my manhood so this is an attempt to convey another side of the truth.
Describing the ideology of “most” Arab men as “crappy” is offensive, and being a university student myself I know for sure that nobody (at least nobody I know) would describe themselves as open-minded. The term open-minded is a western one, originating probably from the sexual revolution of the sixties or so. As far as that goes, I can describe myself as extremely closed minded in terms of promiscuity, porn and equality of men and women (as opposed to men and women getting their rights), and this last one is a poke to your “womanhood”.
I was referring to open-mindedness as what you translate in Arabic as (excuse my French) Garen. This is the actual meaning that jumps to Arab people’s minds. For example: A man taking a photo of his wife in a bikini and tagging her on facebook for everyone to see, someone who is proud of his daughter for bringing a rich boyfriend home, a man (“man” description is disputed) who takes a bunch of photos of his daughter in a very much revealing dress and is so happy showing them to people.
The better meaning of an open-minded man is: One who recognizes that his daughters have the same feelings as his sons, the same sexual desire, the same brain power, a much bigger emotional side and much less physical power (you can see the inequality here; nobody is better than the other yet not equal). An open-minded man is one who accepts the fact that his daughter will most likely fall in love, and one who accepts her wish to marry someone she loves. A man like that would accept the fact that just as his sons visual male sexual needs drives them to jack off to “hayfa wehbi or some other bitch” his daughters and sisters different kind of sexual needs drives them to read erotic novels or fantasize with no need for a TV or the internet. In that meaning, I can proudly be described as open-minded.
A man who does not allow his daughter to have a boyfriend, should just as well not allow his son to have a girlfriend, here they should be equal, the equality coming from the ideology he is allegedly following which let’s say is Islam. Having sex before marriage is not allowed for either, and the punishment is equal for both in the same size. Any other way the man treats his children is pure bullshit coming from animalistic hormones.
As for passports, I only have one Arab passport and I totally agree with you about the claims of those multi-passport identity sellers (Most but certainly not all). I mean let’s face it, they only got those passports to escape in case of war! How brave and manly!
Your generalizations about an Arab man having a secret girlfriend and hurting women when it comes to marriage is unfair, even in the most liberal places on earth men divide girls into marriage material and casual sex material. And to break the cycle, the man shouldn’t date bad girls, there shouldn’t be bad casual-sex-material girls and that can be accomplished just like it was with our grandfathers and their grandfathers. Muslim men if they should be described as Muslims must be very lenient with their women, if they are not they should not be described as Muslims; rather they should only be described as men since the problem of not being compassionate is worldwide. You keep accusing Arabic men with problems that women face worldwide, the charade and mask, these are not Arab inventions.
Girls must be allowed to work and go out because it is NOT haram.
Interesting! Wait for the reply buddy
thanks also for leaving a reply 
LOL most arab men are jackasses! for one who’ve been with some of them, i couldn’t agree more. its not that they have NOTHING to offer, yes, admittedly some of them r quite good looking, BUT that’s all!
they all (or almost all) have this mentality comparable to a Neanderthal with only three basic instincts for life: eat, sex and sleep.
p.s: sorry guys, truth hurts!
Ellie…
I’m an Arab guy…and trust me I’m a very intelligent individual who’s not into sex exclusively
I agree with ahmed, this problem is worldwide. ahmed, you seem to have this nice guy attittude. I sure DO hope that when you get married, you treat your wife like how you say you will. because you see, that’s what Arab men do. they Say ohh we treat our women like princess blabla.. but that’s only what they say to women not related to them (non mahram). with their own wives, its a different story. this act is almost like silently accepted in fact. guys (married or not) will act nice and gentlemanly and preach ohhh in Islam women are treated like queen and men who beat their wives are not men they are dayooth blabla… (let’s say this guy is saying this to his female customer, while his guy colleagues-married/not married-agrees with him). Then one day his wife comes to his work place, he would be telling her to go home, take the taxi and stuff dont sit here its all men blabla… yeah right so much for “gentlemeness”.
And in gatherings or whatever, he will not try to hold his wife’s hand or bring drinks for her or sit close to her or anything because if he does that, his colleagues who previously agrees with him that arab men are nice, those very same men will make fun of him for treating his wife affectionately. But say, like another non-mahram woman approach him in that very same gathering, he will be all nicey smicey to her. And his friends wont mind. Go figure
edited to add: he would tell his wife to go home take taxi. but if its another woman, he would be like, “oh do you want me to give you a lift?” “no no dont take the taxi its dangerous” and stuff. go figure
@Marwa:
I’m trying to get your point(s) here, but I think you’re mixing things up.
Let me try to understand your points:
1. Arab Men promise to treat women like queens, and fail to do so.
2. Arab Men tell their wives to leave their workplace because it’s all men.
3. Arab Men don’t bring drinks and don’t show affection infront of people.
Let me try to present my thoughts on this:
First point:
I think it’s more of a “marriage” problem rather than Arab Men problem. See when engaged, each side promise the other side heaven. Men and women show their very best sides, and try to look the best they could.
Few months (or even weeks) after marriage, they start seeing the negatives, and thus they tend to react in a different way. Men and women are equal in this, I believe.
Second Point:
It’s the oriental man nature. Is it a good thing or is it a bad thing ? It’s for you to decide, but it’s something that we need to acknowledge. Oriental men in general are more conservative and a high percentage of them do not entertain the idea of their wives mixing heavily with other men. Don’t you prefer this to a man who doesn’t give a damn ? I do.
Third Point:
Pretty much the same argument in point number two. It’s the oriental man nature, they don’t like other people seeing them showing affection for their spouses. Or put another way, they don’t feel very comfortable doing so infront of others.
Marwa: There is a certain level of respect that men and women should have towards each other, respect coming from their mere humanity. If someone wants people to treat them good they have to earn it, whether it is a man or a woman. A man would treat his wife like a princess if he managed to make a good choice in marriage. None of them is expected to be good to the other if they cheat or act disrespectfully. You see, the nicest man in the universe won’t treat his wife well if she did not deserve it and the meanest guy in the world won’t treat his wife well even if she was an actual princess. Arab men should be lenient with their women, but treating as a princess is a whole different concept.
As for men’s different treatment of women, I believe that is more like how you would treat your brother differently than you would treat a stranger. See, with people that are close to us, we don’t mind showing it when we’re in a bad mood or can’t stand what they are doing. This comes from closeness and living together. While if you meet someone new, you would show your best and smile all the time, regardless of race and gender. Also, a woman coming to her husband’s workplace is like a man dropping by when his wife has all her girlfriends over. Imagine that your husband would take a seat and a cup of coffee and sit right there where the gossip is hotter than ever! This is what I think but others may disagree. I believe married men and women should give each other space.
People shouldn’t base their actions on what others would think and say. If he doesn’t treat his wife well just because he doesn’t want people to talk about him then there is something seriously wrong with his marriage and principles.
I think I kind of agree. “Open Minded” doesnt mean come to America or Europe and go to bars and drink alcohol and try to look like rap stars and be the boyfriend of 1000 slutty girls. It is really sad how many Arab youth go down this path. I really dont want my kids to grow up in a wrld like this. Im not saying be a monk either. People are “extreme” by nature, its in our psychology. Not all, but an overwhelming number. One extreme is to drink beer and “have fun” with girls and parties and imitate Western culture, and the other extreme is to become extremists with religion and support Jihadi militias. Both are wrong ways, but so much youth follow them, of course more follow the first way, but we must fight this and promote a moderate yet traditional Islam, and not forget our Arab culture.
Of course it is bad, Haram, shameful, and disgusting for a man to beat or abuse women, and we must eradicate this disgusting behavior from our society InshaAllah. And then again the comment about j@ck$%g off to Haifa lol if we and our governments tried a lot harder to promote marriage to Halal decent Muslim girls, and not put these plastic blonde girls on TV as the ideal, we wouldnt have this problem. This is very sad…
I am attracted to muslim arab men because of their family values and tendancies to be more compassionate, however noticed that no matter how sweet and different the arab man might seem bottom line is Im a woman, and an american one at that, who he will never trust to go places by myself or conversate with other men no matter how professional the setting. I value the fact that arabs get protective, so do I, but there has to be a line drawn. About the beating issue, the Quran says its ok, as a last resort sort of, and not to cause too much pain, but as a way to discipline…. and as long as they believe in this god then they have an excuse to beat their wives…. I have met many men that claim “oh I would never beat my wife but it is allowed” which introduces the question, “if its ok, then what would stop you from doing it?” I have long studied islam and I generally like it, but this beating the wife thing has got to go! youre not supposed to beat a dog, so how can it be ok to beat a woman? I highly doubt you would beat your mother! So I am a conservative young woman at the age to be looking for marriage, and I have loved an arab muslim, there is lots to love about him.. and even though Im in love I cant raise my children with this mindset. And so Im faced with the rest of the world to find a spouse from, I hate to say but as mentioned in other comments most white men dont protect their women or even care about them. their wives are more like trophies than anything which is one of the reasons theres so many divorces here… and i dont have anything in common with them anyways. so what does a woman do who values and follows the cleanliness of the islam but cant handle the idea that “getting beaten is ok”?
Dear American girl,
About the beating up issue, there’s a misunderstanding here, a lot of Muslims don’t understand their own religion, which is a shame.
The beating issue is not meant to be physically painful beating; it’s rather an emotional beating. It’s described as being done in extreme cases and with a Meswak (which is equivalent to a tooth brush !) , It’s not allowed to beat up any living creature in Islam.
About the trust issue: Just as the Western world in general have the wrong idea about Arabs, the Arab world have a wrong idea about American women, and the media is to blame in here. You see Arabs living in tents in the movies, and you see cow boys and American women get wasted in the movies..so there’s a gap in here.
A lot of my cousins are married to Western women (american, german…etc). If you want to make the relationship workout, you can make it work, but if you don’t; then matter what your religion is, it wont work out.
Welcome in here americangirl, I really appreciate your comments
I have read all your statments here and I have a few things to point out… I love my arabic husband to death… however there are issues as pointed out.
I know he loves me… I can see it when I look at him.
there is a big culture difference. There is anger issues. If a wife is completly faithful and would never do anything to hurt him. Why is it ok for them to hurt you. I am an american girl I try hard to follow Gods ways. He knows this and says I have a pure heart. I always think of others before myself.
I will not give up my kids for anyone. He knows this but everytime I go to see them with his permission I have been how can I put this lightly discipled. Even had to go to the doctor. Now no matter what anyone says I know that he did not mean to go that far but anger is uncontrolable if you let it get the best of you. so I could use some advise. I explained to him how do I know next time if you wont break something or kill me?? Normally I anyone would treat me bad I would tell the forget you and just leave but I love him. So now what??? How can I help him and me at the same time.
ok let me end this! First of all any of these marraige issues all occur because both partners choose to not be loyal to one another or one is to weak in the relationship. and instead of the other making the other strong all they do is weaken them to fail results are they both end up failing. race dosent matter its the values within our knowledge and hearts, u can be white, black, Hispanic or arabian and ull fail to complete the way of life. if u dont keep each other strong in religon, values and sharing the knowledge u both know everything will occur to be equal at all times but sometime misunderstandings can happen so communicate and stay strong.